It was windy as I looked out from the stadium to see Piri Weepu start the haka. Stomping powerfully, shouting and leading. He slapped his chest fiercely as the crowd went wild. He then showed a pukana with his brown eyes and his tounge came out proud when the haka finished.
Piri had the white ball and started to zoom across the field to get a try. He trained well and that’s why he is fully fit. His strong legs made him score a try. The crowd went wild! Piri Weepu went inside with his team for the first half.
Mr Weepu’s face was sweating and so was his black hair. Now I think he’s thinking about when he was young and a little boy and now with some tattoos and a big heart here in the rugby world cup 2011. He must feel proud of himself. The second half in now on. They done a scrum and Riche MaCaw got the ball and passed it to Piri Weepu. He sprinted half way down the field and he got tackled. He smashed onto the ground. He was running across the field like a mighty warrior.
The game finished and he went to the barber to shave his beard to raise money for a girl who has cancer. Mr Weepu put the hair on trade me. How kind of him to shave his beard for money to donate to a sick girl. Did you know that Piri Weepu shows good sportsmanship and has never got a red or a yellow card? He is special to me and my country because he leads the haka for New Zealand.
I was really impressed with your effort to include powerful adverbs like powerfully and fiercely Elizabeth. This helps to add detail and paint a clear picture in my mind. Well done.
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